She thinks she might give up being reckless. It's very under-appreciated and it takes a lot of work, a lot of time and commitment for, lately, what seems to be very little reward.
It's not something that she is by nature anyway; she really has to try to be it. And is being un-reckless really that dreadful? Would she definitely end up in a job she hates, sitting on the sofa in the evenings, in front of the TV, with limited interaction?
She's seriously considering changing it all. A return to her uninteresting, sensible self, innocuous and dull, instead of living this ludicrously painful, excruciatingly worrying attempt at life on the edge.
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