Recently someone I used to know rang me out of the blue. (Well not quite out of the blue since prior to the call we had been corresponding by email, MSN and text, but still, to say it was a shock would be somewhat underplaying the scene.) The last time we spoke would have been ten years ago, and in that time I have changed a great deal so it was interesting to me to hear that they sounded *exactly* the same. Now I'm sure they don't look the same, I know I don't. Older skin, older eyes. So I got to thinking; why is it that voices don't age? How can the rest of my body note the passing of time, yet my voice doesn't?

On the subject of voices, I have also taken up thinking about the personality 'voice'; the things I say or write. The subject of conversations which take place in reality (either on the phone or face to face) as opposed to online or by text. It struck me that the person I am online, for example here, is not the same as the person I am if you are face to face with me and giggling. The opportunity to censor yourself, present yourself in a certain manner, adjust phrases or change words is available in any textual conversation, something not present in real life. Things meant with a laugh in the throat or a smile in the eye can easily be misconstrued when written down. For instance, if I were to write this: very funny it would be easy to assume I am being sarcastic, and think that in fact I mean something isn't funny, but if you could see me as I fall off my chair whilst I write you would know that I mean it.

So is it possible to piss someone off textually when in real life emotions and reason and meaning are clearer? Is the person you see in the words the real one? Even the use of emoticons can't really express a true feeling, so we are left with a choice of words. But having choice in what you 'say' can become another gag, another way of stifling a true personality. For someone who worries about words, only being able to use writing to converse is like running one-legged. For everything I write I have deleted something else, and if I haven't done that I've hesitated and sighed, and pondered and considered. The end result in text conversation probably sounds pompous or *loud* or over emotional and unrealistic, but anyone who knows me would say most of the time I am grinning, silly, affectionate and a bit odd.

There, you see? Now I have made myself sound like The Fool, which was not how I meant to present myself at all...

I can see it would be very easy to send myself slightly insane continuing to think about this.