The certain and imminent death of a loved one has had a intense consequence for me; it has resulted in an uncontrollable personal sensual adjustment, changing the way I interact with the natural world. My once vague acknowledgement and flimsy awareness of all things beautiful has now become a sort of hyper-reality, an awareness of colour and texture and scent. These days the world to me looks cleansed by rain, the dust washed away, and my eyes cleared by tears notice the sharpness and contrast of everything I see. Smells have become stronger and the things I pick up feel overly large and heavy in my hands. Typing is no longer a rhythmic and unconscious action and has now become a conscious awareness of each and every brain signal, the decision to allow my fingers to press each individual key.

It reminds me of an article I read in New Scientist this week on the Thought Translation Device which allows completely paralysed or �locked in� people the opportunity to write by amplifying and dampening their brain waves in a way that allows them to select letters on a video screen and spell out messages. This technique is excruciatingly difficult to control, extremely slow (averaging about 2 letters a minute) and on some days the patients find they can�t control their brain waves at all, but given that the alternative is being totally unable to communicate it�s an enormous benefit to their lives.

Give a thought and make it so.

This consideration of the brain, coupled with my newfound awareness makes me think perhaps the here and now is the truest moment in my life and all the things I have previously aspired to or wished for in order that my life may become 'perfection' can now be allowed to float off into irrelevance. Maybe now is the beginning of a new consciousness for me, a new reality, a move away from the chronology of time and a step towards the concept of Kairos.