If I muddled up all the screws and Allen keys and bolts and sections and pieces and fixings from all of my Ikea funiture, do you think I could build a huge Ikea mutation? A piece of freaky horrific Uber-furniture? Like Jeff Goldblum at the end of The Fly, only made of wood and steel and plastic. With a chair back or two sticking out where it shouldn't.

Wouldn't it be a fabulous sculpture?

I could call it Flat Pack Assembly Mutation No. 1