Paranoia.

I've got it.

Haven't I?

Have I?

Can you be paranoid, yet know you are not? Is it possible to be paranoid about something that is actually happening? I am so paranoid I've just looked it up in the dictionary, for clarification.

par-a-noi-a P Pronunciation Key (pr-noi)
n.
A psychotic disorder characterized by delusions of persecution with or without grandeur, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.

Extreme, irrational distrust of others.

OK. So I'm not paranoid. I haven't got delusions of persecution. I don't defend anything with apparent logic, in fact my explanations for things are generally totally illogical. And I have no irrational, extreme distrust of others. I am being persecuted, and I do have an extreme distrust of others, but it is not irrational.

In essence, what I think is happening, is happening.

My only delusion appears to be that the only credible explanation for this is that someone, somehow has access to e-v-e-r-y-s-i-n-g-l-e-k-e-y-s-t-r-o-k-e-I-t-y-p-e.

Which is impossible, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Maybe I am paranoid?

But it is really happening.

Jesus.

Do you see my problem? Do you see how a person could send herself mad going round and round like this?

The facts are these:

They definitely do know. They've quoted me.
But I haven't told them.

Repeat: I haven't told them.

So if I am not being paranoid, then:

H-O-W-d-o-t-h-e-y-K-N-O-W?