Tick, Tock, Ticky-Tick-Tock.

Where does the time go?

I don't have any time any more.

I can't sleep, I don't dream, and my days are spent writing documents about rare snails and light pollution. I get home, I feed the lovely boy, I feed me (too much) I drink (too much) and I watch crap television. Television is crap. Why do I waste my time watching it?

Where has the sun gone? Where does the day go? I drive two hours a day to get to work and I leave in the dark and get home in the dark.

This is not life.

Where has this evening gone? It's one o'clock in the morning. I should be in bed, to not sleep, to not dream, to get up in the morning, bleary eyed and have to switch all the lights on in the house.

It's halfway through February already.

Give me back the sun, the warm evenings. Let me have the time to paint, to write, to learn the guitar. Let me learn how to silversmith, to make soap, to dream.

Give me back the loveliness of laziness. The laziness of love.

To dream.

This is not life.