Confession number 2.

They say it's not normal to feel as if killing yourself is a viable option, and that you should tell someone.  It's a 'red flag' in the mental illness stakes, a big ol' tick in the ALERT! ALERT! FUCKING DO SOMETHING box for any kind of mental health professional who may or may not be interested at any particular moment.

But I feel like this all the time, all the fucking time, so it's pretty normal for me, actually. It's normal.  And I'm not doing anything specifically worrying am I? I'm not stockpiling drugs or engineering motorway fates or casually sleeping with clearly unhealthy partners...I'm not measuring rope in Homebase or wobbling on the edge of the Selfridges bridge looking for a hole in the wire fence.

All I'm doing is just vaguely plotting. 

That's all I'm doing.

Constantly vaguely plotting.