Since I was a little girl I have never been able to hear the nice things. There could be a million nice things in a sentence someone said to me or wrote to me but if there was also a horrid thing, a criticism of something I did, of what I said - of who I am, then all I would hear is that and I would just go to bed and cry about how much people dislike me, and how crap I am.
As I have grown older I have learned not to instantly respond, not to lash out in defence of myself, and have learnt instead to listen to what people have to say. I know now to put myself in their position, and think about how they might feel about me and my behaviour towards them. So now I do that. I can just about do that.
The end result though is that instead of wanting to go to bed and cry because everyone hates me, I just hate myself as well, because they're basically right; I am utterly rubbish at being a nice, normal person and instead am a complete emotional disaster.
So that's good. Self awareness.
Hurray for that.
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