You are so frightened of being loved.
Maybe it's because when you were little once your mother didn't give you a biscuit when she did your brother. Or maybe it's because at school you had a friend that stopped being your friend when you started liking Batman, and liked someone else who liked Spiderman instead. Or maybe it's because somebody once loved you, and then stopped loving you and that fucking hurt and you couldn't cope with the pain and you didn't know how to move on and you don't really want that to happen again.
Maybe it's because sometimes people fall in love with you and you don't like their politics, or their dog, or the spot they had yesterday on their nose. Maybe it's because sometimes people love you and you don't know why, because God's Sake you're annoying and boring and your feet smell and you've nothing to say after work so you've no idea how they could possibly love you, and maybe it's not right; they're not the right one, because what's the right one? Who? How do you know who the right one is and what if you end up with the wrong one and there's someone else more right around the corner and what if you had children and then you realise it was all wrong and then...
Maybe it's because sometimes people fall in love with you and you don't like their politics, or their dog, or the spot they had yesterday on their nose. Maybe it's because sometimes people love you and you don't know why, because God's Sake you're annoying and boring and your feet smell and you've nothing to say after work so you've no idea how they could possibly love you, and maybe it's not right; they're not the right one, because what's the right one? Who? How do you know who the right one is and what if you end up with the wrong one and there's someone else more right around the corner and what if you had children and then you realise it was all wrong and then...
SHIT.
You're 90.
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